the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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