So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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