census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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