You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
