Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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