Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
