birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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