so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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