Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
