She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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