It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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