nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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