I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
