As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
His hands were made for my vagina.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
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