I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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