i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
