Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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