Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
