it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
