i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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