So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.