I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick has a subreddit
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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