If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
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Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
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Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize