There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't deserve a penis
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
