Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
