Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
