My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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