I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
