i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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