Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
nutella sex= disaster
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
