My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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