Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
