So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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