I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
