Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
