Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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