I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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