i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize