But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
