can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
