I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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