so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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