i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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