Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
