at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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