Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
