just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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