I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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