Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?

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  (818): question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all? http://tfl.nu/n95r
  Replies (6) Good night (3333) Bad night (874) Order T-Shirt
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know

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  (416): I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know http://tfl.nu/hsw7
  Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (2310) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.

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  (740): the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best. http://tfl.nu/5k82
  Replies (25) Good night (7437) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.

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  (407): I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level. http://tfl.nu/6nqz
  Replies (27) Good night (1314) Bad night (8713) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.

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  (757): I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day. http://tfl.nu/wt3s
  Replies (22) Good night (5649) Bad night (812) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.

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  (781): I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy. http://tfl.nu/bakf
  Replies (43) Good night (2233) Bad night (7323) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.

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  (502): update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive. http://tfl.nu/e1l9
  Replies (10) Good night (4665) Bad night (1177) Order T-Shirt
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.

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  (506): I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going. http://tfl.nu/nsuy
  Replies (6) Good night (829) Bad night (2202) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads

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  (816): votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads http://tfl.nu/utdd
  Replies (8) Good night (833) Bad night (1890) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going

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  (714): I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going http://tfl.nu/ebwx
  Replies (6) Good night (899) Bad night (2496) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much

  (352): View more from Florida

  Like they're going to fly away?

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  (407): I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much (352): Like they're going to fly away? http://tfl.nu/z6w4
  Replies (10) Good night (4671) Bad night (656)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.

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  (734): If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend. http://tfl.nu/pm1j
  Replies (13) Good night (2996) Bad night (547) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"

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  (919): I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle" http://tfl.nu/r7nr
  Replies (6) Good night (3599) Bad night (541) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.

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  (814): This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off. http://tfl.nu/kq64
  Replies (11) Good night (494) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom

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  (709): He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom http://tfl.nu/rh7h
  Replies (11) Good night (604) Bad night (206) Order T-Shirt

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