Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
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We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
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I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?