girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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