You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
