Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
