I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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