I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
