I'm lost and stupid without you.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
i believe in u and ur pee
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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