he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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