Screwed.edu
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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