it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
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I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I will be naked everywhere
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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