When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
