Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
