Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
