Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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